I Just Wanna...............

Oh dear.. It's midnight. I should be sleeping, but I can't Winter's fast asleep... snoozing away. T.V. is on and it's stuck on my favorite ultimate paranoia channel.. DISCOVERY HEALTH CHANNEL! Chica chica what?!? Yes. I am addicted to the craziness of this channel. All of it's trans-gender, Pregnancy, and mystery diagnosis make me love it. Well, I was just messaging Sam on FB about her newly stated mommy title. I realized, it is really hard to be a single mom. All the ups and downs. The emotional struggle along with everything else. It is emotionally draining. I love my daughter and I wouldn't change the decision to have her at all, but it is a lonely life. I don't leave the house all that often and I dont go party like most kids my age. And it's not even that I want to, it's just sometimes I wish I had the option. I don't have anyone to hold me when things go wrong. Yes, I have people I can turn to to talk to about it, but I it's not the same as having that ONE person there. Your other half. I start to doubt that there is another half to me. The possibility that there might not be is always lurking there..... I know everyone says I'm young, but it seems like the "in" thing to do. Marry or find the one at that young age. I dont know.

I'm still sick so I am going to take nyquil and pass out. Goodnight