the countdown to twenty

Ah.. the countdown to twenty is right there.. something like 4 hours. And then twenty, which of course will feel no different than 19 except for the fact that I get to drop the 'teen' part. Which I feel like I dropped so long go. I made plans for dinner on Thursday with people. Notice I say people because we'll wait see how many show because the people that do show will be friends. Oh man.

Not to mention I'm ridiculously confused about my love life right now. Okay sit back. We will call Guy A... Batman. And We will call Guy B... Superman. Don't ask about why they have those names. I'm just thinking they both have done so much for me. Anyways back to my love drama.

Batman is super sweet. But we have had our series of personal issues. We have recently began to... talk about those issues and trying to work through them. Now Superman, He's amazing. He has never done anything to hurt me. He is only trying to help me in every way that he knows how. We have a lot in common and I know that he's open and honest. So what do I do. Go back or move on... I just I could possible love both and I dont want to do that. I want to stand by my decision and that be that. I don't want to lead anyone on because that is a mean spineless thing to do. oh dear. what in the world should I do..

I feel like banging my head against a wall. On a lighter less confusing note. I have two presents sitting next to me.. mmmm temptation. I want to open them. Really bad. like superdidooper bad.

well I'll write more later.

xoxox